What exactly is this??!!

With no one around you, with music flowing from the system, with just daylight entering your room through the windows to give you company, when you still feel you are in crowd with just these, what do you call that feeling? No one at home..that was what I wanted, and I am so happy, beyond words, but I still feel i'm not left alone..That bliss of solitude that I expected to wade in is nowhere...I can hear the sound of the mob charging against me, with stones, with words, with stares of total indifference, with smiles flashing now and then that has countless connotations...But I enjoy the show sitting in one corner of my cotless room..Seems like I have a lot of space to dance about, to do what I want, but I just sit in the corner and watch the show as the seconds and the minutes pass . . . !