This afternoon as I washed her clothes in the balcony the heat showed no sympathy..and then I washed my clothes..and then I washed dad's clothes...I was drenched in sweat but I continued with a sense of achievement..more sweat means shedding more weight.. I was not hungry and dint want to have lunch but I was feeding her and for that I need to feed myself.. I was tired.. and I did not want to rest..i had loads to do around...but my body was beginning to indicate that it could take no more..my back started to hurt..and I was almost fainting..

and then I heard a squeak..a louder squeak and then it burst out into a disorderly orchestra of crying..
I dismissed all work at once and ran into the room where she lay seeking my embrace and put her to be fed..and then that blissful feeling ..of getting de stressed.. i realised that my daughter made sure I rested..she ordered me to sit down and relax..the ac in the room offered me all the chillness that the sun had restricted me of.. she made sure that I took care of myself... what else can a baby do for her mommy?

She is almost five months old now and I still cannot get over the feeling of holding her in my tummy..Every time I hear a squeak is when I realise she is actually out here with me :) lol.. wow I mean really that explains how obsessively compulsively disorderly I was when preggo..But seriously do I even worry about time being wasted??nahhh!! Each second counts for the most remarkable experiences my little one renders me.. her first loud laugh I heard yesterday made me feel like I got an oscar ( or if there was something higher than that) !! I learnt the trick to get that out of her.. Its as simple as nuzzling my nose on her little thigh or belly button.. and then the magical baby laughter which u dreamt of .. Sometimes when I wake up from a deep sleep ( which usually lasts for like ten minutes these days) I feel I see a grown up baby.. Wasn't she supposed to grow gradually?. ..I mean its way too much a surprise for me to see her eye lashes curl within just ten minutes of closing my eyes.. ( really is this possible?!!)

I glow in pride when I put away some of her clothes she has outgrown of.. she is turning out to be a bit like me now..Or is it my mom? She has my mom's way of keeping her hands on her face when she sleeps.. and thts one hell of a genetic trait she could inherit from her grandmum ( seriously?!! :)) ... and she is slowly losing my mother in law's eyebrows to her dad's.. I could not be more delighted..and somehow when she wakes up these days she has to see me or she screams her tiny lungs out.. and then I rush towards her with tht motherly pride..with the feeling that here is someone who just needs my embrace despite a thousand others around her.. and tht feeling I swear is beyond anyone's wildest imaginations..!