Velvet cushion

 The stench of gravel and the roaring of machines,

Turning every old stone into new,

They won't leave, the old strong stones, 

Comfortably stuck in their velvet cushioned moss, 

Ladybugs and centipedes scurried away from air tight slits,

Tiny minds thought the dark cold stone was home, 

Daylight and the gentle breeze, 

At first were fire and storm, 

With no maps in a lost world they took what came on the way

New stones replaced the old ones, neatly tucked in rows

No slits this time, just the flat flat earth and open space 

To enjoy every gift that existed outside

Tiny minds expand, to the gurgling world's flow, 

Is this true? Can I trust the gentle breeze and the gurgling world? 

The old stones remind us, yes it is another truth, 

Never seen or sought in that cold, velvet cushioned moss 

Unveiling

The seconds needle pulls slow

As though shackled, heavy, iron clad

Yet it pulls forward, hoping to reach

Atleast it knows where to reach..

Time is but a grain of sand
On a parched desert?
Or maybe ashore a beautiful island ?
An unreasonable hope 
But the shackles remind her
Overpowered, it weighs down
With grit and ease almost equal
Wonder why glance at the needle,
The needle will find its way, it must..
For sunrises and sunsets are a constant
The universe depends on it..
The cocoon breaks loose
When the tiny life inside struggles
The intricate and comfortable weaves
Seem like shackles, unknown
It decides to break through, no matter what
Not without reason, says the world,
An adventure awaits the tiny life
Flying free amongst the colours
Over transparent bubbles of the stream
Drinking nectar that feeds ecstasy
But all short-lived yet it has to be done
For that's the law of nature
The seconds needle pulls slow
And that's the time tested life
Of someone different,
Someone extraordinary,
In the same universe..

Dear blog world..time is said to be the greatest healer of all wounds.. and it has miraculous ways of putting you in situations, getting you out of them, wringing you right through the middle when you are washed out, or simply lift you even higher when you are flying right above your expectations in glory..with each day that ticks by, each experience that makes you the person after it, each new found love, each wrinkle that your skin welcomes in the process, you reach a quiet and calm place where you can literally look at all of the above stacked in piles..they make up for decisions you took, the temperaments you dealt with, the notions that broke, the magic of finding yourself in another, the truth that revealed itself before you, sweet or bitter, the safety of a deep friendship along the way, the good..the bad.. the ugly..the amazing..and your journey so far..
sometimes when we are dragged by the monotony of life, it does not seem so short after all.. time ticks like a fraction of an nth zillion micromillisecond.. yeah its alright to coin words to express exactly what you go through..someday there will be a lunatic or a wizard who will figure the expression behind it! :)
all the vice and virtues seem to be simultaneously alternating with your personality and you realise that now is not going to be forever .. things change.. you change .. it’s the experience that counts ! 

Again, after a brief silence I’m back here to talk about how sometimes we can be away from home in a better land with better prospectives  and security, yet one’s extreme attachment to one’s home can make it very overwhelming in the new land. In the last eight years of my life in Canada I have mustered up all my energy and worked hard, in fact very very hard to be strong and identify myself as one among the millions of immigrants that have been lucky to have packed up their bags and come away to a foreign land and life has been so good to them. It is very surprising how the mind holds a very strong grip on oneself  with regard to one’s lifestyle because I have realized that you may think that your principles and the way you think your life should go holds  you in control and would negate any other external influence more than anything else, however the mind is the most powerful being which can  show you the stop sign just when you are not about to expect it. There has been a lot of discussions about going back home and settling down as a family although we have pretty much settled down in Canada and it has offered us the best atmosphere possible both financially and socially. I have sometimes thought that it was one of my shortcomings  that I am not able to get over my attachment towards my homeland and that whatever I feel about not being able to identify myself with the new land is just one of the setbacks which I should try and work upon and change. However as I’m ageing and as I’m going forward with my work with my family with my baggage  of emotions I feel that  The very fact that I have not been able to conquer over my homesickness in such a long time itself speaks about how the new land has not been convincing to keep me cosy and warm like home. There were many times when I have felt that if we are not able to adapt ourselves to a new situation then we are denying ourselves  ourselves of the potential to progress as an individual and it would be difficult in the long run if at all there arises an unavoidable situation where we have no choice but to adjust and adapt in a given situation. After browsing through millions of web pages devoted to nri’s who did go back home after a dissatisfied foreign land experience and a million conflicts within me , I have really let go off this .. time will decide .. and my life has always given me best surprises right when I needed them! Although all these conflicts keep coming into my head I have always tried to put a smile on my face and try to put others happiness before mine and trudged  along keeping my thoughts to myself.
Today I sit reflecting how time and marriage, motherhood, career and everything else that people claim helps us to be a fulfilled person has really put me in a spot. This life is such a mystery ! 

Fever flush

Dusk is here , it's golden hues promising
The toil is over and now celebrate
So the girl wears her best perfume
And her glittery golden veil
Striding on her warrior horse who never once let her down
In all battles and ordeals she managed to strike right
But today as she celebrates she shakes
From her very core
The illness captured her in a moment
And this time her horse was too far away
Eating hay and napping that his rider is celebrating
No one to swoop her off the floor that now seemed shaky
All she did was laugh along and play along
Soon people could tell she was sinking
And then followed days and nights of suffering
She slumbered and slumbered through the day and through the nights
The aches and pains were shackled in heavy chains
along with her ill laden body
With no voice to be heard or no heart to be felt
She shed a hundred tears that dried on her feverish skin
Left alone in a cold dungeon there was barely anything to do
But to go through it and allow the illness to invade
A thousand calls to her duty crossed her head
And she felt the shooting pains as she tried to wake up
So she decided to stop fighting and let it be
It crept on her like a parasite hungry to feed off every fresh bit
The thumping of a thousand drums at once she felt inside her brain
Every breath seemed difficult as the wounds had begun to erupt
The hours went by each one worse than the previous
With no one to count on she reached out to a stranger for water and grains
To quench the thirst and calm her down
Everything changed then after
A person attended at her every call
What he served was not worthy of an opinion
But she ate and drank after all
Tears swept across to think of the plight
What good would it do to assume otherwise ?
Her child lay crying for hours
Sick as ever but she couldn't care at all
Laying helpless watching the nasty sight
She swore she ll make up for the lost
There was light and sunshine
Warmth and happiness
Yet her disease hovered around her like a dagger ready to kill
Soon she bled and soon she was liberated
From the disease and
From everyone around her.

What's all thiss!!?? Don't ask me! I am as ignorant as u all!

There are certain days when u realise that you are actually NOT what you think u are! I realise i got it all wrong all these days. Now is the time for penance. Just help me shut my big mouth and keep all those hypocrites away from me god! Thanks for helping me out with my sem exams. Just that i got a lil outta mind kinds. Sometimes the world just gets ugly. Even the beautiful things appear ugly. Can't i just get back those days..the days when i used to sit by the window and write ?..How peaceful it used to be..No worries..No envisioning dark lanes and me caught up in the maze! shucks..i know i can't ..don't i? When dad and mum pointed out that ad on tv today my eyes brimmed but i had to swalllow my food and it went in as just a mass of tasteless, shapeless acc to me atoms...molecules..well ok call it whatever u like..I know there is no escape for me ouuta this..Don't u touch that dictionary! If im wrong it is cos i please to be so! Now the world has to see it... right?..but even otherwise the world saw it!.. There is no escape from the materialsim, the hypocrisy, the falseness, the insensitivity, lack of meaning and all sorts of other things which people don't have time to ponder on! Knowin all i dunno all! Reminds me of Duryodana in Urubhangham.. He was exalted right!?! Yes he was..his evolution..the transmigration to perfection..death rather than breach the code of conduct..He attained Veera sorga! Oh yeah Mahabali too..Maha vishnu's vamana incarnation that set him down to paataala as he chose not to falter from the words he had spoken without analysing. His minister had warned him but he was KING rite! yeah rite! KING! That was what Dusyanta too told..Only the king has to bear weights of depression after getting the highest power! And what bout the queen..yes ..sita.. in Uttararaamacharitham, who was abandoned by Sri Rama in the forest when she was pregnant with embryo, nine months, amongst the wild beasts of the panchavati?..She dint even know poor woman..wretched woman that she became, she threw herself into the ganges and lo and behold!..ganga carried her with the twins to Valmiki's hermitage? Where is the ganga that raises u wen u jump into it?! Where is it??!!! 

Star starer at the age of 14! ( dug out from the past)

The twinkling stars!

Nothing can be so bright,

To fill the night with light,

Nothing can be so exquisite,

To make us all so inquisitive,

On how these celestial beings,

Like dust darted fron heaven,

Seem so wonderful and illuminating!

I stood on my terrace wondering,

Who gave them the sheen,

As to where they came from,

But i knew that the lovely moon gave them the light.

They seemed to be shivering

Amidst the cool chilly breeze,

Like tiny fairies with light on wings,

The gaze gave me peace,

And i wished for happiness too.

And also thanked the almighty for his creation,

To guide our way through the night!