Skip an ad some day, you never know what it brings to you!

Today, I accidentally skipped skipping an ad on youtube before my favourite song played and boy am I glad? It was an ad to celebrate friends who helped in making some important decisions that changed lives forever.

So it made me think over coffee..What was that decision that entirely changed my life? Who  helped me? Who are my friends? Life has changed somewhat ..From a middle class ladki to a first class ladki..I have been loving the transformation ..It has given me some real moments of happiness..Some not so very happy moments ..but certainly not worse.. It was worth going back on my thought lane to just remind and reassure myself that all is not lost yet.. 

I could start from deciding to change school at tenth grade. Ten years of an all girls school experience I had a strong faith in the fact that the word revolved around me..I could handle any advance from the opposite sex with that smirk on my face and the arrogance of a super star.. I was the queen of my kingdom and everything functioned well under my strict observation. There was no fear, no wanting, no inhibitions.Then I decided it was time to change and run along with society and deal with the much man dominated world... The first day at school with boys around, I plummeted down to level minus 0 if there be such a level, not knowing where to look, what to say, or what to feel..But eventually, I learnt that its me who is revolving around the world and that was such a great enlightenment..It felt great to break away from the comfort zone and indulge in something different and challenging at that period.

I call "depression" the lord of all ill beings.. and that miraculous moment when I decided to emerge out of it literally changed my life.. Sometimes young adults could fall into the abyss of depression for silly, trivial reasons and mine was nothing more than that, yet I could see myself breaking down often and losing all my dear ones around me..At the end of a typical day, I would've wasted a whole decade of friendship in just one moment of impulse..It was not easy to go to them and ask to be forgiven but it was lot easier than coping with my new self identity..However I deserted it in that same dark abyss and sprung out like a phoenix. It felt good to have fought with my demons and scorn at it in time. 

Marriage was yet another life changing decision. I was only 22 when I got married, so I was only 21 when I decided to get married. Still at college, rummaging through a whole lot of thesis papers, pimple faced yet full of energy to suck the day in, I could not handle relationships that breezed in and out. I felt the need to be owned and protected but I did not want to be married soon. What would people judge of me? I was'nt this low life, stunted, hormone oozing woman who felt the need for warmth while donning the garbs of a devoted wife and daughter in law. It could just be done few years later but I felt a calling to get committed for life. It whispered to me that it will blow my mind and there I was looking at profiles ( chuckle) and discussing the pros and cons of a wedded life. Friends, teachers and others who knew me gaped when they knew about it but wasn't it the best decision I took.It taught me to appreciate the good side of life, it brought new people who looked upto me, to be patient, realise the worth of my parents, the worth of my conscious and unconscious learning all those years, it re-invented me and most importantly taught me house work ( something that I don't enjoy much yet feel accomplished at the end of each day) to get bonded to the idea of a "Home". It was something I never knew existed.  

There are still many more that are deep down inside me, secrets that I would never share with my own shadow, yet so life changing and responsible for what I am today. I never knew skipping an ad would do this to me. These r those simple life experiences that could make another beautiful patch on the embroidery of life. Celebrate your decisions today friends! Ciao!

Post Marriage-kid!

So until now I was challenging all my married friends that life does not change after marriage nor after kids..I mean, what could possibly change? you are still your self but just with a man that you love and a few stretch marks on your tummy..other than life does not change nor do we..We still hold on to those dreams that we always dreamt before marriage and about how we would carve our own niches and dont let our independent thinking down the drain.. Its been such a journey! At one point in time you feel marriage is necessary.. just to calm down those teenage hormones and settle down for good under a roof..you could be sipping hot chocolate on the deck outside your balcony or running with your hair strung out behind a toddler who just dropped that bottle of juice on your new recliner, but thats just the way life goes and it should not change you the person as you are..

Quite contrary to the popular notion after marriage,I saw myself going younger by the days..I felt the need to stay fit and was hitting gym almost everyday, doing my cardio and crunches, whilst secretly learning new moves from my gym mates who were rarely gymming for normal purposes like staying fit.. It looked like they were preparing for war..like crush those enemies right there, strike them with one arm and they would fall dead and lifting weights seemed as effortless as trying to catch the breeze in your hand..nevertheless, the calorie count on my treadmill put me in a zone..a rather narcissistic zone I must say..cos I imagined attaining those killer abs in half an hour of treading. That was how close I was to reality. Never mind. But I did manage to look younger and was most certainly did not look like a mother of one.. (Danger: Self pride kills!)

So the whole approach to married women by men and women is something worth observing and dissecting..There would be plots inside plots and by the time you try to figure out what exactly is the meaning behind it you would rather do the dishes and go to bed. I would confidently proclaim that if you want to earn respect you don't have to do anything philanthropic or be the good guy, you just need to get married. I like that, honestly it feels good to be respected for the work you do, so I thought. It was merely a case of formality and not respect out of recognition. If they saw a wedding ring or a metti or a thaali ( all symbols of Indian marriage, if my Canadian friends are wondering) they just have to step back a bit and throw that facade over their funny faces. If you are married, eyebrows rise in a modelling agency, no expression at a job interview, mundanity becomes your best friend and routine is a word you want to murder! Ciao!