Incessant Outpour. .

Life , a four letter word with endless definitions and to live , a verb with endless explanations. The walk down the Path station struck me with this idea to peep on all the other commuters along with me and to see what their life is all about today. Some of them were running, a life of pace, few of them were eager to see what New York had in store for them today, a life of expectations and few of them like me who were drowsy and lost , trying to find out on how to spend the very next moment in life. By the time all the philosophical calculations finished up in my head , there I stand right at my Merrill Office. I wondered how life took its twists and turns and after watching "The Knowing" seems like I am on the very same lines "Everything that happens in this world has a purpose". It sounds more like a phrase stolen from the Gita , well its origin is the last thing I am interested in. Thought the question What is the purpose of my life ? That was my next thought ,climbing to the 5th floor of the skyscraper. McDonald's,KFC's,Chipotle,Ferrari,New York didn't seem to answer that question. I reached my desk, made a few phone calls and then I closed my eyes and wondered what is that I wanted the most and what is indeed the purpose of this life ? My office was empty today ,being a Saturday, and all I could hear was the humming of my computer and the ones around me, thanks to the non energy saving policy .Despite the "IT-fernece", I knew and I knew exactly what I wanted the most. I needed someone to love me. But does that answer my question ? Or rather does it help me come of this loneliness. I decided to question myself further. Love.another four letter which has no boundaries when it comes to definitions or explanations. Love , Life and then God, lets say life is the path, God your map and love is "that someone". Trust me, you wouldn't want to be on a crooked path without map being lonely.Would you ? Well that's where I was until a few weeks ago. My path so far had been an Everest climb without anyone but I always had this map with me saying take that direction-take this direction but it used to take me from one tough path to another. Intimidating !!! I always kept saying the map is incorrect and it just puts me in an even bigger mess. I never realized that the map always gave me the correct waypoints b'cas I wanted it to be "the" creamy ride and it didn't help me being alone either. Whenever someone turns up and says ok "I'll be along with you forever". I jump in joy and am like Sir Benjamin Franklin flying his kite to get struck by the love lighting. However when the path just gets too strenuous for them ,they quit,leaving me midway and there I stand all alone right in the middle of no where with nothing but tears. I kept wishing why didn't I get a better path or life so that this person stayed with me forever. Today after 25 years I realize, God has always played this game well, a bit of happiness and then an ocean of sadness and the cycle goes on.He keeps proving this point that you will get tougher and deal with sadness, and you don't get fed up with happiness either. Smart He Is !! and why I never had a someone to be with me ,who stayed long to cuddle up or hug me when I am low is b'cas He had designed the path in such a way that He wanted that someone who loves me more than I love her to join me ,one day, on this beautiful journey called life to make it our life. These days the air smells good, the sun shines brighter,the water looks calm , you would say I am in love , I call it God's Game , a game I love to play forever with "that someone". God lightens love and love colors life. Its always a God's Game , and its Great Game !!!!
- Sandy