Claustrophobia. . .it can get you nowhere. . .

Sometimes we just don't want to talk to anyone fearing that we may become dependant on them for anything else that wil cross our lives, be it sorrows or happiness. Losing our individulity is one thing we never want to compromise. And if it is one of ur close friends then the deciding part is tougher but i guess it is better to decide from your own standpoint so that the means and end wil be justified. Life can just get better for nothing and yet we relish the movement of life more than the purpose or the goal. I recently came to such a trial in my life and it seemed easy for me to chuck the friend but to have my friend back is claustrophobic. Again. . . i did not find the logic behind this wierd stimulus in me. I am living in the new world where the conversations are with myself..i tel myself how cute the baby is at the railway station, how wonderful the sambar vada is at the canteen, how nauseating it is to sit in a two hour special class on saturdays, how awful life would be if i don't try to get placed somewhere, how different things would have been if i had taken advantage of others instead of just allowing myself to be taken advantage of, how i had been blind to the fact that i was a bloody dependant all these years and that the issue popped into the family just a month ago, how i must plan my life to fight all odds, how to fix an appointment with my profs and get my project work done, how loneley a person can get when you are amidst a crowd, and many more. . . I tell all this to myself now..And relish in the movement of life more than the purpose..Its a lesson for a lifetime! Chow. . .