Each milestone that we crossed together in these nine months seemed quite fast now that she was full term and ready to plop out. As for me I was only looking forward to pop as the sleeplessness and the anxiety started getting to my nerves. I wondered how tough it is for me to be patient in these last few days when I was taking it as it comes all these nine months. I read tons of articles on how to deal with an overdue tummy and how not to give up hopes of naturally going into labour and still love my baby despite the millions of discomforts she was causing me. It seemed really tough, especially the last two weeks, although it sounds like a small period of time it spread across like years. Every twinge I felt raised my hopes of getting to the hospital to see her but disappointment and discouragement was what was in store of me as the contractions disappeared in no time.
Meanwhile people around you can really stimulate your frustration by asking if I have already delivered and if I had forgotten to update them. I was at the edge of everything so I decided to pen down something so that the bad feeling drains down. So after the first few months got done I was relieved that the most horrid part of my pregnancy was done with. I mean there were times I thought my 2 cm baby would come out through my throat as I bent over to throw up for the umpteenth time in a day. The second trimester introduced me to gassing up, bloated tummy, tightened uterus, breathlessness and of course the nausea still hung around like a lover. My mother arrived in Canada like a god sent angel. I remember how guilty I felt of leaving my grandmum to my father's care with just a home nurse for help.I still cannot imagine what I would have reduced to if she was not around. We tried to go out for small walks in the park outside and also managed to talk about various things that we felt about our pregnancies. The appointments with my obstetrician was not very interesting but it still happened regularly, starting from monthly to biweekly and then once every week towards the end. Beautiful that she was, somehow she failed to instill the sense of security that you would find in your doctor. First of all she had no time to listen to my problems, I mean being a first time mommy I had countless questions in mind. I would hope to get them answered from her everytime I visited her but in vain.
The third trimester was full of heartburn, gassing up, feeling heavy, pressure in the groin, back pain and to top it all I was experiencing a terrible headache for almost a month. I went to emergency cos of the headache but all they said was to take tylenol which went over my head. I hated my hospital, I hated my doctor, I hated myself for putting myself in such a situation. The ultrasounds were avoided in the last trimester which was really boring cos atleast I could see her in an ultrasound. Now it was just the routine blood pressure check, doppler check and goodbyes.
I lost my sleep completely in the last week. I felt nervous about going into labour but I wanted to get there as soon as possible. I was stressed out. I tried to divert my mind by soaking in long warm baths but it never really helped. Sandeep was busy with work as it was the year end so it was like I was invisible for him. I could not blame him but I certainly missed being attended by him and often found solace in youtube videos of distressed mums to be. The heavier I got it became more difficult for me to move around. My whole like changed and friends said when the baby comes its gonna change again and that time for the worst. That was definitely encouraging. I could not listen to music cos it seemed annoying, I could not walk around and do the stuff I wanted to cos standing up from where I sat seemed like a herculean task. So basically the body never went where the mind went and that was nerve wrecking.
I know as I am typing this I have avoided to mention a countless other complaints I had and have right now but it seems meaningless to go on like this forever. My fingers are crossed, my eyes are up to god and my hopes of seeing my little one are extremely high even now no matter what. . Lets wait and see what happens.. Ciao.
Meanwhile people around you can really stimulate your frustration by asking if I have already delivered and if I had forgotten to update them. I was at the edge of everything so I decided to pen down something so that the bad feeling drains down. So after the first few months got done I was relieved that the most horrid part of my pregnancy was done with. I mean there were times I thought my 2 cm baby would come out through my throat as I bent over to throw up for the umpteenth time in a day. The second trimester introduced me to gassing up, bloated tummy, tightened uterus, breathlessness and of course the nausea still hung around like a lover. My mother arrived in Canada like a god sent angel. I remember how guilty I felt of leaving my grandmum to my father's care with just a home nurse for help.I still cannot imagine what I would have reduced to if she was not around. We tried to go out for small walks in the park outside and also managed to talk about various things that we felt about our pregnancies. The appointments with my obstetrician was not very interesting but it still happened regularly, starting from monthly to biweekly and then once every week towards the end. Beautiful that she was, somehow she failed to instill the sense of security that you would find in your doctor. First of all she had no time to listen to my problems, I mean being a first time mommy I had countless questions in mind. I would hope to get them answered from her everytime I visited her but in vain.
The third trimester was full of heartburn, gassing up, feeling heavy, pressure in the groin, back pain and to top it all I was experiencing a terrible headache for almost a month. I went to emergency cos of the headache but all they said was to take tylenol which went over my head. I hated my hospital, I hated my doctor, I hated myself for putting myself in such a situation. The ultrasounds were avoided in the last trimester which was really boring cos atleast I could see her in an ultrasound. Now it was just the routine blood pressure check, doppler check and goodbyes.
I lost my sleep completely in the last week. I felt nervous about going into labour but I wanted to get there as soon as possible. I was stressed out. I tried to divert my mind by soaking in long warm baths but it never really helped. Sandeep was busy with work as it was the year end so it was like I was invisible for him. I could not blame him but I certainly missed being attended by him and often found solace in youtube videos of distressed mums to be. The heavier I got it became more difficult for me to move around. My whole like changed and friends said when the baby comes its gonna change again and that time for the worst. That was definitely encouraging. I could not listen to music cos it seemed annoying, I could not walk around and do the stuff I wanted to cos standing up from where I sat seemed like a herculean task. So basically the body never went where the mind went and that was nerve wrecking.
I know as I am typing this I have avoided to mention a countless other complaints I had and have right now but it seems meaningless to go on like this forever. My fingers are crossed, my eyes are up to god and my hopes of seeing my little one are extremely high even now no matter what. . Lets wait and see what happens.. Ciao.
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